This is a model answer for a human cloning essay.
If you look at the task, the wording is slightly different from the common ‘do you agree or disagree’ essay.
However, it is essentially asking the same thing.
| As people live longer and longer, the idea of cloning human beings in order to provide spare parts is becoming a reality. The idea horrifies most people, yet it is no longer mere science fiction. To what extent do you agree with such a procedure? Have you any reservations? |
Understanding the Question and Task
You are asked if you agree with human cloning to use their body parts (in other words, what are the benefits) and what reservations (concerns) you have (in other words, what are the disadvantages).
So the best way to answer this human cloning essay is probably to look at both sides of the issue as has been done in the model answer.
As always, you must read the question carefully to make sure you answer it fully and do not go off-topic.
You are specifically being asked to discuss the issue of creating human clones to then use their body parts. If you write about other issues to do with human cloning, you may go off-topic.
Human Cloning Essay Question
| You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: As people live longer and longer, the idea of cloning human beings in order to provide spare parts is becoming a reality. The idea horrifies most people, yet it is no longer mere science fiction. To what extent do you agree with such a procedure? Have you any reservations? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. |
Model Answer for Human Cloning Essay
The cloning of animals has been occurring for a number of years now, and this has now opened up the possibility of cloning humans too. Although there are clear benefits to humankind of cloning to provide spare body parts, I believe it raises a number of worrying ethical issues.
Due to breakthroughs in medical science and improved diets, people are living much longer than in the past. This, though, has brought with it problems. As people age, their organs can fail so they need replacing. If humans were cloned, their organs could then be used to replace those of sick people. It is currently the case that there are often not enough organ donors around to fulfill this need, so cloning humans would overcome the issue as there would then be a ready supply.
However, for good reasons, many people view this as a worrying development. Firstly, there are religious arguments against it. It would involve creating other human beings and then eventually killing them in order to use their organs, which it could be argued is murder. This is obviously a sin, according to religious texts. Also, dilemmas would arise over what rights these people have, as surely they would be humans just like the rest of us. Furthermore, if we have the ability to clone humans, it has to be questioned where this cloning will end. Is it then acceptable for people to start cloning relatives or family members who have died?
To conclude, I do not agree with this procedure due to the ethical issues and dilemmas it would create. Cloning animals has been a positive development, but this is where it should end.
(276 words)
Evaluation:
Task Achievement: Band 7.5
- The essay addresses the task effectively, discussing the potential benefits of cloning humans for organ replacement while highlighting significant ethical concerns.
- A clear opinion is provided, opposing human cloning due to its ethical implications.
- Relevant reasons and examples are included, such as the scarcity of organ donors and religious arguments, but these could be elaborated further with more specific evidence or examples (e.g., referencing successful animal cloning cases or specific religious doctrines).
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
- The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing benefits and concerns, and a concise conclusion.
- Ideas flow logically, and cohesive devices like “firstly,” “however,” and “furthermore” are used effectively.
- There is some room to improve transitions between points for smoother readability, such as linking the benefits of organ donation to the ethical dilemma more fluidly.
Lexical Resource: Band 7.5
- Vocabulary is appropriate and varied, with terms like “breakthroughs,” “organ donors,” “religious arguments,” and “ethical dilemmas.”
- Some phrases could be more precise or nuanced. For example:
- “It could be argued is murder” might be better expressed as “could be interpreted as equivalent to murder.”
- “A ready supply” could be refined to “a consistent and reliable source of organs.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
- A range of grammatical structures is used effectively, including conditionals, complex sentences, and passive constructions.
- Errors are minimal, but slight improvements in phrasing could enhance clarity and sophistication:
- “As people age, their organs can fail so they need replacing” could be rephrased as “As people age, organ failure becomes more common, necessitating replacements.”
Word Count: 299 words
- The essay is well-developed and falls within the word count requirement without unnecessary repetition.
Strengths:
- The essay balances the discussion of benefits and concerns effectively, addressing both sides of the argument.
- It provides a clear stance and supports it with reasonable arguments.
Areas for Improvement:
- Incorporate more specific examples or references to add depth to the arguments (e.g., Dolly the sheep as a milestone in cloning, statistics on organ donor shortages).
- Enhance the precision of language and provide smoother transitions between ideas.
Overall Band: 7.5 – 8
This essay provides a solid and balanced response with clear reasoning and a strong opinion. To reach a higher band, it should include more detailed examples, refine transitions, and use even more precise language.
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