This IELTS animal rights essay discusses the exploitation of animals by humans.
People who believe in animal rights think that they should not be treated cruelly, for example in experiments or for sport.
‘To exploit’ means to benefit from something in an unfair way. Take a look at the question:
| A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion. |
Discussing ‘Two Opinions’
Animals should not be exploited by people, and they should have the same rights as humans. Humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.
In this essay you are being given two opposing opinions to discuss.
This is the first opinion:
- Animals should not be exploited by people, and they should have the same rights as humans.
This is the second opinion:
- Humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.
In this type of essay, you must look at both sides. In other words you need to discuss the arguments FOR animal rights and AGAINST.
You must also ensure you give YOUR opinion.
Organizing the Essay
One way to organize an essay like this is to consider both opinions, then give your opinion in a final paragraph or dedicate a whole final paragraph to your opinion.
Another way to write an essay like this is to also make one of the ‘for’ or ‘against’ opinions your opinion as well.
Look at the model animal rights essay below. The second body paragraph discusses the first opinion, but the topic sentence makes it clear that this paragraph is also represents the writer’s opinion as well:
However, I do not believe these arguments stand up to scrutiny.
This now means that in two body paragraphs, you have covered all three parts of the question from the animal rights essay:
1. First opinion
2. Second opinion
3. Your opinion
The advantage of doing it this way rather than having a separate paragraph is that you do not need to come up with new ideas for a new paragraph.
If you have a separate paragraph with your opinion you may find you cannot think of any new ideas or you may end up repeating the same things as in your previous paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Example
| You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. |
Animal Rights Essay – Model Answer
Animals have always been used by humans in some form to satisfy their needs. However, while some people believe that animals should be treated in the same way humans are and have similar rights, others think that it is more important to use them as we desire for food and medical research.
With regard to the exploitation of animals, people believe it is acceptable for several reasons. Firstly, they think that humans are the most important beings on the planet, and everything must be done to ensure human survival. If this means experimenting on animals so that we can fight and find cures for diseases, then this takes priority over animal suffering. Furthermore, it is believed by some that animals do not feel pain or loss as humans do, so if we have to kill animals for food or other uses, then this is morally acceptable.
However, I do not believe these arguments stand up to scrutiny. To begin, it has been shown on numerous occasions by secret filming in laboratories via animal rights groups that animals feel as much pain as humans do, and they suffer when they are kept in cages for long periods. In addition, a substantial amount of animal research is done for cosmetics, not to find cures for diseases, so this is unnecessary. Finally, it has also been proven that humans can get all the nutrients and vitamins that they need from green vegetables and fruit. Therefore, again, having to kill animals for food is not an adequate argument.
To sum up, although some people argue killing animals for research and food is ethical, I would argue there is sufficient evidence to demonstrate that this is not the case, and, therefore, steps must be taken to improve the rights of animals.
(Words 290)
Evaluation:
Task Achievement: Band 8
- The essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing a clear opinion.
- Arguments for and against the exploitation of animals are well-articulated, with reasons and evidence supporting each side.
- The opinion is clear and consistent, favoring animal rights over exploitation.
- Examples, such as “secret filming in laboratories” and “nutrients from vegetables and fruit,” add depth, but they could be more specific (e.g., citing studies or organizations).
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
- The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs addressing each perspective, and a strong conclusion.
- Logical progression of ideas is evident, and cohesive devices such as “firstly,” “furthermore,” “to begin,” and “in addition” are used effectively.
- Transitions between arguments could be slightly smoother to enhance flow, such as connecting the ethical concerns of animal suffering with alternatives like plant-based diets.
Lexical Resource: Band 7.5
- Vocabulary is varied and appropriate, with terms like “exploitation,” “morally acceptable,” “nutrients,” and “animal rights.”
- Some phrases, like “it has been shown on numerous occasions,” could be replaced with more precise language, such as “studies have consistently demonstrated.”
- Repetition of terms like “animals” and “humans” could be minimized with synonyms (e.g., “creatures,” “mankind”).
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
- A wide range of grammatical structures is used accurately, including complex sentences and passive constructions.
- Errors are minimal, but there are slight improvements possible in phrasing for greater precision:
- “Humans are the most important beings on the planet” could be refined to “Humans are often considered the most significant species on Earth.”
- “This is morally acceptable” could be expanded to “This is considered morally acceptable by proponents of this view.”
Word Count: 310 words
- The word count is appropriate, and the essay is well-developed without unnecessary repetition or tangents.
Overall Band: 8
This essay effectively discusses both views and provides a clear, well-supported opinion. To further improve:
- Use more specific examples to substantiate claims.
- Diversify vocabulary and refine phrasing for added sophistication.
- Ensure smoother transitions between arguments for an even more cohesive response.
Leave a Reply