This food additives essay is basically an advantages and disadvantages essay. You need to be careful with the word ‘outweigh’ as this often confuses students.
The word ‘outweigh’ can be placed in different ways in the sentence so rather than work it out, it is better to think of it simply as ‘are there more advantages or disadvantages.
This is the question:
Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages?
‘Outweigh’ Confusion
Decide what you think there are more of and then state this in the thesis statement without mentioning the word ‘outweigh’ as candidates commonly get mixed up when using this word.
For example, look at the thesis statement from the food additives essay model answer:
- In my opinion, the potential dangers of this are greater than the benefits we receive.
‘Outweigh’ questions do suggest, though, that there are definitely both advantages AND disadvantages, so you should discuss both.
However, make sure your essay supports your opinion. For example, if you have said there are more disadvantages, it would not make sense to then write mostly about advantages.
As you can see from the model answer, advantages are discussed, but the focus is on the disadvantages as this is what it is stated are greater in the thesis statement.
Food Additives Essay
| You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. |
Food Additives Essay Model Answer
Most foods purchased in small stores and supermarkets these days contain chemicals, which are used to improve production and ensure food lasts longer. However, there are concerns that these chemicals have harmful effects. In my opinion, the potential dangers are greater than the benefits.
There are several reasons why chemicals are placed in food. Firstly, it is to improve the product to the eye, and this is achieved via the use of colorings that encourage people to purchase food that may otherwise not look tempting to eat. Another reason is to preserve the food. Much of the food we eat would not actually last that long if it were not for the chemicals they contain, so again, this is an advantage to the companies that sell food as their products have a longer shelf life.
From this evidence, it is clear to me that the main benefits are, therefore, to the companies and not to the customer. Although companies claim these food additives are safe and they have research to support this, the research is quite possibly biased as it comes from their own companies or people with connections to these companies. It is common to read reports these days in the press about possible links to various health issues such as cancer. Food additives have also been linked to problems such as hyperactivity in children.
To conclude, despite the fact that there are benefits to placing chemicals in food, I believe that these principally help the companies but could be a danger to the public. It is unlikely that this practice can be stopped, so food must be clearly labeled and it is my hope that organic products will become more readily available at reasonable prices to all.
(Words 298)
Evaluation:
Task Achievement: Band 8
- The essay effectively addresses the question, providing a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of using chemicals in food production and preservation.
- The stance is clear: the dangers outweigh the benefits. The arguments are well-supported with examples, such as the potential health risks and biased research.
- The conclusion provides a strong summary and a practical suggestion (labeling and increased availability of organic products), which adds value.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
- The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides, and a concise conclusion.
- Cohesive devices such as “firstly,” “another reason,” “despite the fact,” and “to conclude” are used effectively to guide the reader.
- The flow of ideas is logical, though the transition between benefits to companies and their potential bias could be smoother.
Lexical Resource: Band 7.5
- Vocabulary is varied and appropriate, with terms like “colorings,” “shelf life,” “biased research,” and “hyperactivity.”
- Some phrases could be more precise or formal:
- “Improve the product to the eye” could be rephrased as “enhance the visual appeal of the product.”
- “It is common to read reports these days” might be refined to “There are frequent reports in the media.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
- A variety of sentence structures is used effectively, including conditionals, passives, and complex sentences.
- Grammatical accuracy is strong, with only minor issues:
- “Although companies claim these food additives are safe and they have research to support this” could be streamlined to “Although companies claim that food additives are safe and supported by research.”
- “Food additives have also been linked to problems such as hyperactivity in children” might benefit from citing a specific example or study to strengthen the argument.
Word Count: 292 words
- The essay is concise and adequately developed without repetition or unnecessary elaboration.
Strengths:
- Strong argumentation supporting the position that dangers outweigh benefits.
- Clear, logical organization with a practical and forward-looking conclusion.
Areas for Improvement:
- Include specific data or references to strengthen claims, especially about health risks and biased research.
- Enhance the precision of some phrases for a more formal tone.
- Smooth transitions between ideas to improve cohesion further.
Overall Band: 7.5 – 8
This essay provides a solid response with clear reasoning and structure. To achieve a higher band, it could use more specific evidence and slightly refine its language and transitions.
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