This page analyzes a computer games essay and also notes how you can make good use of the question to plan and organize your essay.
You have to be careful with this essay as although you have to discuss the pros and cons of the issue, there is a second part to the question that is not about this.
Take a look at the IELTS task 2 question:
| Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the positive and negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects? |
The Topic and the Task
Remember to always analyze the question carefully. The topic should be fairly clear:
- Computer games
Remember to also look carefully to see if the topic is being narrowed down to a particular aspect of the topic. In this case, it is:
- Children
Now you need to check what the task is. How many things do you have to write about?
Hopefully, you realized there are three things that you can easily turn into brainstorming questions:
- What are the positive impacts of computer games on children?
- What are the negative impacts of computer games on children?
- How can the negative impacts be minimized?
Your answers to these questions will form your computer games essay.
You do not have much time and you have three things to answer, so one or two ideas for each is enough, as remember you will need to explain your ideas and give examples.
Now, take a look at the model answer.
Computer Games Essay Question:
| You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Nowadays, many people have access to computers on a wide basis, and a large number of children play computer games. What are the positive and negative impacts of playing computer games, and what can be done to minimize the bad effects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. |
Model Answer
Access to computers has increased significantly over recent decades, and the number of children playing games on computers has also increased. This essay will consider the positive and negative impacts of this and discuss ways to avoid the potential negative effects.
With regards to the positive effects, playing computer games can develop children’s cognitive skills. Many popular games require abstract and high level thinking skills in order to win, skills that may not be taught at school. For example, children need to follow instructions, solve complex problems and use logic in many of the games that are currently popular. Such experience will be beneficial to a child’s progression into an adult.
However, concerns have been raised about the prolific use of computer games by children, much of this related to the violence they contain. The problem is that in many of the games, children are rewarded for being more violent, and this violence is repeated again and again. For instance, many games involve children helping their character to kill, kick, stab, and shoot. This may lead to increased aggressive feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.
In order to minimize these negative impacts, parents need to take certain steps. Firstly, some video games are rated according to their content, so parents must check this and ensure their children are not allowed to have access to games that are unsuitable. Parents can also set limits on the length of time games are played. Finally, parents should also take an active interest in the games their children are playing so they can find out how they feel about what they are observing.
To sum up, there are benefits of computer games, but there are disadvantages too. However, if parents take adequate precautions, the severity of these negative impacts can be avoided.
(295 Words)
Evaluation:
Task Achievement: Band 7.5
The essay addresses the task well by discussing both the positive and negative impacts of children playing computer games and suggesting solutions to mitigate the negatives. The points are relevant and supported with logical reasoning and examples (e.g., cognitive skill development and violent behavior). However, the argument could be strengthened with more specific examples or data to illustrate the claims more convincingly. Additionally, the conclusion could briefly reiterate the key positive and negative points for better emphasis.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing positives and negatives, a paragraph on solutions, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as “with regards to,” “for instance,” and “finally” are used effectively to link ideas. The progression of ideas is logical, and transitions between paragraphs are smooth.
Lexical Resource: Band 7.5
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like “cognitive skills,” “abstract thinking,” “prolific use,” and “aggressive feelings.” However, some phrases (e.g., “violent behavior,” “computer games”) are repeated and could be paraphrased to show greater variety. More precise or formal expressions could also enhance the lexical level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
The essay displays a variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences, and grammar is generally accurate. There are minor areas for improvement, such as replacing informal expressions (“find out how they feel”) with more formal alternatives. The essay avoids major grammatical errors, demonstrating a strong command of written English.
Word Count: 298 words
The essay exceeds the 250-word requirement, covering the topic thoroughly without unnecessary repetition or irrelevant information.
Overall Band: 7.5-8
This essay effectively discusses the positives, negatives, and solutions related to children playing computer games. To achieve a higher band, the writer could include more specific examples or evidence, expand on the solutions, and improve lexical variety. Additionally, refining the conclusion to reinforce the key arguments could further enhance the essay.
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