This is a model IELTS stress essay. It is about stress in modern society and how to prevent it.
It is a causes-and-solutions essay. In other words, you have to identify what causes stress and then suggest solutions.
Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world.
What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress and how can we reduce it?
This type of essay lends itself to two body paragraphs – one explaining the causes and the next discussing some possible solutions.
As is important with any IELTS essay, you must always read the question carefully.
The topic is often narrowed down to a particular group of people or topic.
Narrowing Down the Topic
The key here is that ‘modern society‘ is mentioned.
If you just talk about stress in general but don’t connect it to modern society you may be in danger of not fully answering the question.
You need to brainstorm some issues specific to the world we live in today that may result in stress.
What things effect us today that did not (or not too such an extent) 10, 20, 30 years ago?
Using Personal Pronouns
Also, you may notice that ‘we‘ is used a lot in the stress essay.
Remember an IELTS essay is not quite the same as an academic essay you will normally write. It is can be more personal as you only have your own experience to support your answer with.
You should avoid too many personal pronouns if possible such as ‘I‘ throughout the essay but you may wish to use this to give your opinion or examples from your own experience at times. This is ok, but don’t overdo it.
This question specifically says how can ‘we‘ reduce it. So it is already making it personal. So it is ok to write about what all of us, or ‘we‘, can do.
Sample Question Stress Essay
| You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. |
Stress Essay Model Answer
Stress is a problem that can have detrimental effects on many people’s lives, and there are various factors in modern society responsible for this. However, there are ways to limit the potential impacts.
The modern world we live in today presents us with many issues that we did not have to cope with in the past. Firstly, there are issues of terrorism that we are constantly confronted with in the media. Whether these are real or not, we are led to believe our lives are in constant danger, be it flying on a plane or traveling on public transport. Climate change is another worry that everyone has to face. The results of a significant rise in temperatures could radically affect our ways of life, and our children’s too. There are also more health issues to be concerned about than in the past, with rises in Alzheimer’s, diabetes, and stroke, to name but a few. All of these concerns can result in stress.
Tackling such problems will not be easy, but there are measures that can be taken. Governments and the media could play their part by ensuring that instead of persistently bombarding us with such negative images and information about the world in which we live, we are given more positive stories too. However, given this is unlikely to happen, we need to develop our own strategies to distract us from these influences. Of course exercising regularly is one thing we should do as this has been shown to increase endorphin levels and lead to feelings of happiness. Sleeping enough helps us to recuperate and restore our bodies. Finally, eating properly can improve our health and result in less worry about potential diseases.
All in all, although there are many factors around us today which lead to stress, we can take steps to reduce it. Given that the strains we face in modern society will likely get worse, ignoring it is not an option for many people.
Words: 327
IELTS Evaluation
Band Score: 8.0
1. Task Achievement: Band 8
The essay effectively addresses both parts of the task: it identifies several factors causing stress, such as terrorism, climate change, and health concerns, and proposes solutions, including media reforms, exercise, proper sleep, and healthy eating. The explanations are logical and well-developed, but the discussion could benefit from more specific examples or data. Additionally, while the essay touches on global stressors, it could also mention individual-level causes, such as work-related or financial stress, to make the analysis more comprehensive.
2. Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The essay is well-organized, with a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. Linking words and phrases like “firstly,” “another worry,” “all of these concerns,” and “finally” are used effectively to maintain coherence. The conclusion ties the discussion together nicely. However, some transitions, such as “However, given this is unlikely to happen,” could be more concise or polished to enhance fluency.
3. Lexical Resource: Band 8
The vocabulary demonstrates a good range, with phrases like “bombarding us with negative images,” “recuperate and restore,” and “potential impacts.” The writer could improve by incorporating more precise terms or synonyms for commonly repeated words like “stress” (e.g., “anxiety,” “tension”) and “issues” (e.g., “challenges,” “problems”). Nonetheless, word choice is appropriate and contextually accurate.
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
The essay displays a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences (“Given that the strains we face in modern society will likely get worse, ignoring it is not an option for many people”) and conditionals (“if these are real or not…”). Grammar is generally accurate, but some sentences, like “Tackling such problems will not be easy, but there are measures that can be taken,” could be simplified to avoid redundancy.
Suggestions for Improvement
- Incorporate specific examples or data, such as statistics on rising stress levels or successful stress-reduction programs.
- Include individual-level stress factors, like work-life balance or social media pressures, to broaden the analysis.
- Use a wider range of synonyms to avoid repetition and add variety to the text.
Overall Comments
This essay effectively addresses the prompt with clear and logical arguments. The analysis is insightful, and the solutions are practical and well-explained. Minor improvements in lexical variety and breadth of examples could push the score to 8.5 or higher.
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