This is a model vegetarianism essay.
As I always stress, you should read the question very carefully before you answer it to make sure you are writing about the right thing.
Take a look at the question:
Every one of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Staying on topic
If you rush to start writing and don’t analyze the question and brainstorm some ideas, you may include the wrong information.
There are religious or moral arguments for not eating meat, but if you discuss those, you will be going off topic.
This question is specifically about the health problems connected to eating meat.
So you must discuss in your answer what some of these problems are and if you think there are real health risks or not.
Knowing about the topic
And don’t get worried that you do not know much about diet and health.
As part of your IELTS study, it will help if you know the basics of most topics, such as some health vocabulary in this case, but you are not expected to be an expert on nutrition.
Remember, you are being judged on your English ability and your ability to construct an argument in a coherent way, not to be an expert in the subject matter. So relax and work with
Organization
In this vegetarianism essay, the candidate disagrees with the statement, and is thus arguing that everyone does not need to be a vegetarian.
The essay has been organized in the following way:
Body 1: Health issues connected with eating meat (i.e. arguments in support of being a vegetarian
Body 2: Advantages of eating meat
Now take a look at the model answer.
Model Essay
| You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Every one of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. |
IELTS Vegetarianism Essay – Sample Answer
Vegetarianism is becoming more and more popular among many people, particularly because of the harm that some people believe meat can cause to the body. However, I strongly believe that it is not necessary for everybody to be a vegetarian.
Vegetarians believe that meat is unhealthy because of the diseases it has been connected with. There has been much research to suggest that red meat is particularly bad, for example, and that consumption should be limited to eating it just a few times a week to avoid such things as cancer. Meats can also be high in saturated fats, so they are linked to health problems such as cardiovascular disease and diabetes.
However, there are strong arguments for eating meat. The first reason is that, as humans, we are designed to eat meat, which suggests it is not unhealthy, and we have been eating meat for thousands of years. For example, cavemen made hunting implements so that they could kill animals and eat their meat. Secondly, meat is a rich source of protein, which helps to build muscles and bones. Vegetarians often have to take supplements to get all the essential vitamins and minerals. Finally, it may be the case that too much meat is harmful, but we can easily limit the amount we have without having to cut it out of our diet completely.
To sum up, I do not agree that everyone should turn to a vegetarian diet. Although the overconsumption of meat could possibly be unhealthy, a balanced diet of meat and vegetables should result in a healthy body.
(264 words)
IELTS Writing Task 2 Evaluation
1. Task Response: Band 7.0
✅ Strengths:
- The essay addresses the question clearly and provides a balanced argument. The writer explicitly states their position (“I strongly believe that it is not necessary for everybody to be a vegetarian”) and maintains this stance throughout the essay.
- Relevant examples are included, such as references to research on red meat and the historical context of humans eating meat.
- The conclusion effectively summarizes the writer’s opinion.
🔻 Areas for Improvement:
- Some arguments could be developed further. For instance, the reference to cavemen is too simplistic and may not convincingly support the idea that eating meat is healthy today.
- The essay lacks specific, up-to-date examples or data to strengthen the points, such as referencing current dietary guidelines or scientific studies.
Suggested Improvement:
- Replace general examples with more specific, contemporary evidence. For example, cite studies from organizations like the World Health Organization (WHO) or dietary research from reputable sources.
- Elaborate more on the health benefits of balanced meat consumption using specific nutrients or examples.
2. Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0 – 7.5
✅ Strengths:
- The essay is logically structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides, and a conclusion.
- Linking words like “However,” “For example,” and “Finally” are effectively used to connect ideas.
🔻 Areas for Improvement:
- Cohesion could be improved by using a wider range of linking phrases. For instance, instead of just “However,” use alternatives like “On the other hand” or “Conversely.”
- Paragraph transitions could be smoother. For example, the transition from the health risks of meat to its benefits could be more fluid with a linking sentence.
Suggested Improvement:
- Use more sophisticated connectors such as “Nonetheless,” “Moreover,” or “Conversely” to elevate the essay’s cohesion.
- Add a transitional phrase between the paragraphs that contrasts vegetarian arguments with meat-eating benefits.
3. Lexical Resource: Band 6.5 – 7.0
✅ Strengths:
- The essay uses appropriate vocabulary like “cardiovascular disease,” “saturated fats,” and “supplements.”
- The language is clear and straightforward, making the argument easy to follow.
🔻 Areas for Improvement:
- Repetitive word choices: Words like “meat” and “unhealthy” are used multiple times without much variation.
- Vocabulary could be more precise and sophisticated. For example, instead of “bad,” use “detrimental” or “harmful.”
Suggested Improvement:
- Introduce more varied and precise vocabulary:
- “Meat” → “animal protein,” “animal-based products.”
- “Unhealthy” → “detrimental,” “harmful,” “adverse to health.”
- Include more complex expressions like “nutrient-dense sources” or “dietary restrictions.”
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.0
✅ Strengths:
- The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex sentences (“Although the overconsumption of meat could possibly be unhealthy…”).
- Grammar is generally accurate, with minor issues.
🔻 Areas for Improvement:
- Awkward phrasing in places:
- “…particularly because of the harm that some people believe meat can cause to the body.” → This can be more concise: “…due to the perceived harm meat can cause to health.”
- Some sentences could be combined or restructured for greater fluency and sophistication.
Suggested Improvement:
- Revise for more concise phrasing and eliminate redundancy.
- Use more compound-complex sentences to show greater grammatical control.
Final Estimated Band Score: 7.0
| Criterion | Score |
|---|---|
| Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 7.0 – 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 – 7.0 |
| Grammatical Accuracy | 7.0 |
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