This IELTS employing older people essay tackles the issue of whether it it better for employers to hire younger staff rather than those who are older.
This type of topic arises in IELTS writing now again. This is about employing people over 50. Don’t mix it up with essays that ask whether people should be forced to retire at a certain age.
Some of the arguments may be the same, i.e., the advantages of someone working when they are older, but the question is different.
IELTS Employing Older People Essay
| You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that, for this reason, younger workers are to be preferred. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. |
Model Answer:
Some people claim that it is better to employ younger people than older people due to the rapid changes occurring in modern workplaces. I do not believe that this is the case.
One argument in support of younger employees is that older employees could be more set in their ways and potentially against any change. To an extent, this may be true, but there are many flexible and intelligent workers over 50, while there are inflexible and narrow-minded younger ones. Attitude towards change is a result not of age but of personality type.
That said, physical changes with age could mean certain jobs are more suited to younger people. For instance, psychologists seem to be in agreement that memory declines with age for people who do not remain mentally active. In high-tech industries such as computer programming, where it is so important to be able to work with so much information, numbers, and calculations, being younger may be an advantage.
However, older workers have a wide range of other positive attributes that they can bring to their working environment. Generally, they have more work experience than those who are younger. In addition, as can be seen with the trend of many department stores in the UK to take on older people, they are seen to be more reliable and respectful. These are important in any kind of working environment.
In conclusion, there is no evidence to support employing young people as opposed to those over 50. It would seem that a mix of the best qualities of old and young is preferential in order to ensure the most productive environment evolves.
(264 words)
IELTS Writing Task 2 Evaluation
1. Task Response: Band 7.0 – 7.5
✅ Strengths:
- The essay clearly addresses the question, providing a balanced argument with both sides discussed.
- The position is consistent throughout: the writer disagrees with the idea that younger workers should be preferred solely due to adaptability to change.
- Relevant examples are provided, such as the reference to psychologists’ views on memory decline and the UK department stores hiring older workers.
🔻 Areas for Improvement:
- While the essay addresses the task well, the argument could be more developed with stronger, more specific examples. For instance, referencing specific industries or roles where older workers excel would strengthen the point.
- The conclusion is clear but could be made more impactful by summarizing key arguments more explicitly.
Suggested Improvement:
- Include real-world examples or data to reinforce points, e.g., “Many successful tech companies, such as IBM and Microsoft, employ senior professionals for their expertise and mentorship roles.”
- Slightly expand the conclusion to reinforce the key arguments made.
2. Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0 – 7.5
✅ Strengths:
- The essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
- Linking devices like “One argument in support,” “That said,” and “However” are effectively used to connect ideas.
🔻 Areas for Improvement:
- Some transitions could be more sophisticated. For instance, instead of “That said,” consider using “Nevertheless” or “Despite this.”
- The flow between paragraphs can be slightly improved by using transitional sentences that better connect the ideas.
Suggested Improvement:
- Use more varied connectors such as “Moreover,” “Conversely,” or “In contrast” to improve flow and sophistication.
3. Lexical Resource: Band 7.0
✅ Strengths:
- The essay demonstrates good vocabulary control with words like “flexible,” “narrow-minded,” “reliable,” and “respectful.”
- Clear word choices make the meaning easy to follow.
🔻 Areas for Improvement:
- Some repetitive language: words like “younger” and “older” appear frequently without much variation.
- The vocabulary could be more precise or varied in certain places. For instance, instead of “positive attributes,” use “valuable skills” or “unique strengths.”
Suggested Improvement:
- Replace repetitive terms with synonyms or paraphrasing:
- “Older workers” → “seasoned professionals,” “veteran employees.”
- “Younger workers” → “novice professionals,” “early-career individuals.”
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.0
✅ Strengths:
- The essay demonstrates a range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and conditional clauses (“To an extent, this may be true…”).
- Grammar is generally accurate, with only minor issues.
🔻 Areas for Improvement:
- Some awkward phrasing:
- “It would seem that a mix of the best qualities of old and young is preferential…” → “…is preferable…” (Incorrect word choice).
- Sentence variety could be improved by incorporating more compound-complex sentences for greater sophistication.
Suggested Improvement:
- Revise awkward constructions:
- “Attitude towards change is a result not of age but of personality type.” → “An individual’s attitude towards change is influenced more by personality than by age.”
Final Estimated Band Score: 7.0 – 7.5
| Criterion | Score |
|---|---|
| Task Response | 7.0 – 7.5 |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 7.0 – 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.0 |
| Grammatical Accuracy | 7.0 |
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