This fear of crime essay is based around the issue of crime prevention – specifically, is it possible to prevent crime or not?
In some essays, you are simply asked to give your opinion or views. This leaves it fairly open in how to approach your answer.
However, as is always the case, you must spend some time analyzing the question to make sure you are very clear about what you are being presented with.
Take a look at the question below.
Many people are too scared to leave their homes because of a fear of crime.
Some people think that more should be done to prevent crime, whereas others feel that nothing can be done.
What are your views?
In this fear of crime essay, you are given two sides:
- More should be done to prevent crime
- Nothing can be done
Fear of Crime
You could argue one side throughout your essay, but the best approach is to look at both sides of the issue to make sure you are fully answering the question. It is also easier to come up with more ideas if you look at both sides.
You should also decide which side you are going to agree with and make this very clear in your answer.
In this particular essay, the author’s view is that more should be done to prevent crime.
This is presented in the second body paragraph (though another option would be to discuss both sides and present your own opinion only in the introduction and/or conclusion).
Take a look at the model answer below.
IELTS Fear of Crime Essay
| You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many people are too scared to leave their homes because of a fear of crime. Some people think that more should be done to prevent crime, whereas others feel that nothing can be done. What are your views? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. |
Fear of Crime Essay – Model Answer
Over recent decades, there has been an increasing fear of crime in many countries. Although some think that there is little that can be done to reduce the levels of crime, I believe there are measures that can be implemented.
Those who believe that nothing can be done hold this view for several reasons. First, they think that a fear of crime is a state of mind perpetuated by the media. For example, we are constantly bombarded with negative news stories about crime and violence on our streets. Thus, the belief is that whatever we do to reduce levels of crime, people will still be scared. Another belief is that crime is caused by wider structural issues in society that are too difficult to tackle, such as the growing income gap between the rich and the poor. Little then can be done about this issue in our capitalist societies.
However, I feel that there are solutions that will ensure people feel safer outside their homes. Governments can increase the numbers of police in local communities, and more ‘neighborhood watch’ schemes should be encouraged, both of which increase safety and deter crime. The media should also be encouraged to present more positive stories in the news about how crime is being tackled rather than focusing on the negative. In terms of structural issues, governments should attempt to tackle issues of poverty through better income distribution.
To conclude, there is a widely held view that nothing can be done to prevent crime. In contrast to this opinion, I would argue that there are options available that would help prevent crime and, therefore, reduce the fear of crime.
(277 Words)
IELTS Evaluation
Band Score: 8.0
1. Task Achievement: Band 8.0
The essay effectively addresses the question, presenting both views and offering a clear personal opinion. The writer provides well-developed arguments for why some believe nothing can be done to reduce crime and counters these with practical measures to mitigate both crime and fear of crime. The conclusion reinforces the writer’s opinion, effectively summarizing the discussion. However, the essay could benefit from more specific examples or data, such as statistics or case studies, to add further weight to the arguments.
2. Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8.0
The essay is well-organized, with clear progression and logical paragraphing. Cohesive devices such as “First,” “Thus,” “However,” and “To conclude” are used effectively, making the argument easy to follow. The essay flows smoothly, but minor improvements in transition could enhance cohesion. For example, linking the second reason in the first body paragraph more explicitly to the belief that “nothing can be done” would strengthen the argument.
3. Lexical Resource: Band 8.0
The vocabulary is varied and appropriate, with phrases such as “perpetuated by the media,” “bombarded with negative news stories,” “income gap,” and “neighborhood watch schemes.” These demonstrate a strong command of English. However, further use of higher-level synonyms or more precise terms could enhance the lexical range. For instance, “attempt to tackle issues of poverty” could be rephrased as “implement targeted policies to address economic disparities.”
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8.0
The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex and conditional sentences (“whatever we do to reduce levels of crime, people will still be scared” and “Governments should attempt to tackle issues of poverty through better income distribution”). The grammar is accurate throughout, with only minor opportunities for further sophistication in sentence construction. For example, the phrase “Little then can be done about this issue in our capitalist societies” could be restructured for smoother readability.
Strengths:
- Balanced discussion of both views.
- Practical and realistic solutions to reduce crime and fear of crime.
- Effective use of cohesive devices and formal tone.
Improvements:
- Include specific examples, such as successful crime-reduction strategies in certain countries.
- Further elevate lexical variety and precision.
- Smoothen minor transitions for better cohesion.
Overall Band: 8.0
This essay is well-written and effectively addresses the task. With more precise examples and slightly refined language, it could push towards a Band 8.5.
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