This IELTS essay is about the competition for jobs between younger and older people.
The way that the question is posed in this essay can often cause problems for students. Take a look at the question:
| Nowadays, more and more older people who are looking for work have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions? |
Understanding the Task
So there are two parts to the question, but in the first part, should you be talking about problems or causes as both are mentioned?
It’s common for students to make errors in answering the question because they rush to start writing without spending a few minutes analyzing the question.
If you look carefully, you should see that you need to write about the problems that arise if older people have to compete for jobs with younger people, not the causes of having to compete, even though the word ’causes’ is in question.
Also, the question is focused on the problems for ‘older people who are looking for work’. You’ll likely want to focus on the potential problems for older people, not younger people, as the question implies that the issue is for the former.
Organization
And don’t forget that there are two parts to the question:
- Problems
- Solutions
So it is a good idea to brainstorm two problems and think of solutions to those. You could organize your essay in one of two ways:
- Body Paragraph 1: problem – solution
- Body Paragraph 2: problem – solution
Or
- Body Paragraph 1: problem x 2
- Body Paragraph 2: Solution/s
Now take a look at the model answer:
Job Competition Model Essay
| You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Nowadays, more and more older people who are looking for work have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. |
Competing for Jobs Essay – Model Answer
It is common these days for older people who need employment to compete with people much younger for the same type of work. While this can create problems, there are steps that can be taken to reduce the impacts.
The main problem is that older people may find it more difficult to secure work, which arises because younger people are more likely to have up-to-date qualifications and experience. For example, information technology is integral to a variety of jobs these days and the skills needed for this are rapidly changing. Young people may well have recent knowledge through university or through using technology in their leisure time. If older people cannot secure work, this leads to other problems. As they are likely to have a family to support, they may not have an adequate income to provide for their children’s education or other such necessities.
It is the government that needs to take measures to ameliorate such problems. This needs to begin with ensuring that older people have all the skills needed to compete in the job market, which could be achieved by providing free training on the most important job requirements at local community colleges, for example. In addition to this, the government needs to encourage employers to change their employment practices by promoting the value of experience that older workers can bring to a job.
To conclude, the main issue with competition for work between these groups is that older people may start to find it more difficult to find work. However, despite this, through the right training and changes to recruitment practices, older people can compete on an equal footing with the younger generation in the job market.
(282 Words)
Evaluation:
Task Achievement: Band 8
The essay effectively addresses the task by outlining the primary problem (difficulty for older people in securing work due to lack of updated skills) and suggesting solutions (government training programs and employer encouragement). The discussion is relevant and logically connected to the question, though more examples or data could add depth to the arguments. For instance, including statistics about unemployment among older workers or specific examples of successful training programs would make the argument stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8.5
The essay is well-organized, with a clear structure that includes an introduction, a discussion of the problem, solutions, and a conclusion. Transition words such as “for example,” “in addition to this,” and “to conclude” are used effectively to guide the reader. However, the connection between some ideas could be further refined—for instance, explaining more explicitly how government training would address specific challenges faced by older workers.
Lexical Resource: Band 8
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, including terms like “secure work,” “integral,” “ameliorate,” and “recruitment practices.” While the vocabulary is precise and varied, incorporating more specific terms related to employment, such as “upskilling,” “digital literacy,” or “age discrimination,” could elevate the essay further.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8.5
The grammar is accurate, with a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences (e.g., “This needs to begin with ensuring that older people have all the skills needed to compete in the job market”). There are no noticeable grammatical errors, but a slightly wider variety of advanced grammatical constructions, such as conditionals or passive voice, could enhance the score.
Word Count: 271 words
The essay stays within the recommended word range and is concise while addressing the task comprehensively.
Overall Band: 8.5
This is a strong essay that addresses the task clearly and effectively. To achieve Band 9, the writer could include more detailed examples or data to support the arguments, expand on the societal implications of unemployment among older workers, and use a broader range of advanced vocabulary and grammar.
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