In this cell phone essay, you have to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones and the internet dominating the ways in which people relate to each other socially.
This is the question:
| These days, cell (mobile) phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? |
Analysing the Question
This is a type of question that has appeared in the IELTS test a few times:
- The impacts of technology on the way we communicate with each other
With IELTS essay questions, you always need to note carefully exactly what you are being asked to write about.
In this case, it is about cell phones, mobile phones, and the internet. So you must write about both. Sometimes, an essay may just ask you about one or the other.
This is also important in this cell phone essay:
- ‘The way in which people communicate with each other socially’
You are not being asked about work situations but social situations. So, you should not talk about how these types of technology have impacted organizations or workers.
You are also being asked if there are more advantages or disadvantages. So you must clearly state your opinion on this and also write about both in your cell phone essay (as the suggestion is that there are both).
Cell Phone Essay
| You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: These days, cell (mobile) phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. |
Cell Phone Essay Model Answer
It is rare these days to find someone who does not communicate and interact with others through a cell phone or the internet, as they are widespread throughout society. I believe that the benefits of this development outweigh the drawbacks.
One main negative consequence of this development is that people may become disconnected when conversing with each other face-to-face. People now tend to use their cell phones or the internet to communicate, but rather than actually speaking, they send a message. Some of the most popular applications are WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, and Line, all of which encourage messaging. The result of this is that people may lack the benefits of engaging with others in conversation and the closeness this brings.
Despite this, there are several important advantages as well. Firstly, the internet and cell phones mean that people can stay connected however far away they are from each other. For instance, these days, many people live in different countries or go traveling in different countries. Cell phones and the internet mean that parents can easily keep in touch with their children who are on holiday, and people who immigrate to live abroad can easily communicate with their loved ones when needed. In addition to this, the internet means that people also interact with strangers and increase their knowledge of other cultures because, through such things as Facebook, people connect with all sorts of people around the world, making friends and discussing and exchanging knowledge.
In conclusion, although a disadvantage of the internet and cell phones is the lack of face-to-face conversation, they have improved the way we can stay in contact with loved ones and exchange ideas with new people. Overall, this is a positive development for society.
(297 Words)
Evaluation: IELTS Writing Task 2 – Opinion Essay
Band Score: 7.0
1. Task Response: Band 7.0
The essay addresses the task effectively and presents a clear position (the advantages outweigh the disadvantages). Both sides of the argument are discussed, and the examples provided are relevant and realistic.
- Strengths:
- Clearly expresses an opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
- Provides relevant examples, such as parents staying in touch with children on holiday and people interacting with strangers online to learn about other cultures.
- Balances the discussion by acknowledging a disadvantage while emphasizing the advantages.
- Weaknesses:
- The explanation of the disadvantage is slightly underdeveloped compared to the advantages.
- Some points could be expanded further for more depth, such as why face-to-face interaction is valuable.
To improve: Provide more specific examples or statistics to strengthen the argument, especially when discussing drawbacks.
2. Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.5
The essay is well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. Cohesive devices are used appropriately, making the essay easy to follow.
- Strengths:
- The essay follows a clear structure: introduction, one paragraph for disadvantages, one for advantages, and a conclusion.
- Cohesive devices such as “despite this,” “for instance,” and “in addition to this” are used effectively.
- Weaknesses:
- Some linking phrases could be varied to avoid repetition (e.g., “the internet and cell phones” is repeated multiple times).
To improve: Use synonyms or paraphrasing to enhance variety and reduce redundancy.
3. Lexical Resource: Band 7.0
The vocabulary is appropriate and sufficient to discuss the topic, with some good use of topic-specific words and phrases like “face-to-face conversation,” “widespread,” and “exchange knowledge.”
- Strengths:
- Good range of vocabulary related to communication, such as “applications,” “interact,” “strangers,” and “closeness.”
- Phrases like “lack the benefits of engaging with others” and “discussing and exchanging knowledge are well-phrased.
- Weaknesses:
- Some repetition of basic phrases, such as “the internet and cell phones,” limits the lexical variety.
- Occasional lack of precision (e.g., “the internet means that people also interact with strangers” could be rephrased more effectively).
To improve: Include a wider range of synonyms for key terms like “internet,” “cell phones,” and “communication.”
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5
The essay demonstrates a good grasp of grammar, but there are minor errors that reduce its accuracy and fluency.
- Strengths:
- Correct use of complex sentences (e.g., “Although a disadvantage of the internet and cell phones is the lack of face-to-face conversation, they have improved the way we can stay in contact with loved ones…”).
- Variety of sentence structures is present, including conditional sentences (“however far away they are”).
- Weaknesses:
- Minor grammatical mistakes, such as *”they send a message” (should be “instead of speaking, they send a message”) and “mean that parents can easily keep in touch” (should be “allow parents to keep in touch easily”).
- Some sentences are wordy or awkwardly phrased (e.g., “Cell phones and the internet mean that people can stay connected”).
To improve: Pay attention to word order, use more concise phrasing, and avoid overusing “mean that.”
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