Below is an Internet essay connected to social interaction.
The IELTS test usually focuses on topical issues, and this certainly falls into this category, as you have probably seen this issue discussed on TV and online.
You have to discuss if you think that the Internet is damaging social interaction.
The question also mentions the matter of the Internet opening up communication worldwide, so you should also discuss this in your answer.
Always look at the question carefully and underline the key points made in the prompt to ensure you do not miss anything.
Of course, you should always make a quick plan for your internet essay, as with any essay, before you start to write.
Social Interaction and the Internet Sample Question
| You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities worldwide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction. How far do you agree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. |
Internet Essay – Model Answer
It is evident that, at present, people are spending a considerable amount of time on the Internet and thus spending less time with real people. I strongly agree that although this use of the Internet has greatly increased the level of communication available, it has also had detrimental effects on the amount and type of social interaction that takes place.
The benefits of the Internet in terms of increased communication are clear, with people connected across the globe. In the past, communication was only possible by phone or mail, which entailed time and expense. It also usually meant just keeping in contact with those people already known to you. With the internet, this has changed dramatically. Email and social networking sites such as Facebook and MSN have created online communities that are global in scale, and they have fostered communication between people and countries that we would not have thought possible in the not-too-distant past.
That said, there is no doubt in my mind that this has had negative impacts on social interaction. People, especially the younger generation, spend hours online chatting and on forums. Although this can be beneficial, it is certainly not the same as real interaction with human beings and does not involve the same skills. It is important that children have and maintain real friendships in order to develop their own interpersonal skills. Not only this, but it can also have negative effects on local communities if people are spending most of their time communicating online and not mixing in their neighborhoods, and possibly lead to feelings of isolation for those individuals who do not have a ‘real’ person to turn to in times of need.
To conclude, I believe that the internet has undoubtedly been beneficial, but there are good reasons to be concerned about social interaction in our societies. It is, therefore, important that we maintain a balance between our online lives and our contact with real human beings.
(328 Words)
Evaluation: IELTS Writing Task 2 – Opinion Essay
Band Score: 7.5
1. Task Response: Band 8.0
The essay effectively addresses the task and provides a clear position throughout. The opinion is well-supported with balanced arguments about both the benefits and drawbacks of internet use in relation to social interaction. Relevant examples are included to illustrate the points.
- Strengths:
- The essay presents a clear agreement with the opinion stated in the question and supports it with well-developed arguments.
- Relevant examples, such as the role of Facebook and MSN in fostering global communication and the need for real friendships for interpersonal skill development, are used effectively.
- Weaknesses:
- The negative impacts, such as the effects on local communities and feelings of isolation, could be further supported with more concrete examples or evidence.
To improve: Add more specific real-life examples or data to strengthen the discussion of negative impacts.
2. Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.5
The essay is well-structured and flows logically, with clear connections between ideas. Cohesive devices are used appropriately and naturally.
- Strengths:
- The essay follows a logical structure: introduction, body paragraphs addressing both benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion.
- Cohesive devices like “That said,” “Although,” and “Not only this, but” enhance the flow of ideas.
- Weaknesses:
- Some linking phrases, such as “there is no doubt in my mind,” could be more concise.
- The transition between the benefits and drawbacks paragraphs could be smoother.
To improve: Use more varied linking phrases and ensure transitions between paragraphs are seamless.
3. Lexical Resource: Band 7.0
The vocabulary is appropriate and relevant to the topic, with a good range of expressions. However, there is some repetition of basic terms, and some phrases could be more precise.
- Strengths:
- Good use of topic-specific vocabulary, such as “online communities,” “social networking sites,” and “interpersonal skills.”
- Phrases like “global in scale” and “feelings of isolation” are well-crafted and appropriate.
- Weaknesses:
- Some repetitive phrasing, such as “real interaction with human beings” and “real friendships,” could be replaced with synonyms or rephrased.
- Occasional lack of precision, for example, “this has changed dramatically” could be more specific.
To improve: Include more synonyms and paraphrase to reduce repetition and improve lexical variety.
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.0
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, but minor errors slightly reduce its accuracy.
- Strengths:
- Effective use of complex sentences (e.g., “Although this can be beneficial, it is certainly not the same as real interaction with human beings…”).
- Good variety in sentence structures, including conditional and comparative sentences.
- Weaknesses:
- Minor grammatical errors, such as “it also usually meant just keeping in contact with those people already known to you” (could be simplified to “usually meant keeping in touch with people you already knew”).
- Some sentences are wordy or awkwardly constructed, such as “it can also have negative effects on local communities if people are spending most of their time communicating online.”
To improve: Aim for more concise phrasing and eliminate minor grammatical inaccuracies.
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