This model diet and health essay examines the extent to which individuals or governments should be responsible for health.
| Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others, however, believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion. |
IELTS essays are usually about current topics of controversy, and the declining health of many nations is certainly of concern to many countries at the present time.
This essay asks you to examine both sides of an issue and to give your opinion.
This means that you must look at both the arguments that are presented. In this case, these are:
1. It is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet.
2. Governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet.
You must, of course, also give your opinion.
IELTS Diet and Health Essay
| You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others, however, believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. |
Diet and Health Essay Model Answer
An increasing concern for many governments around the world is the declining health of their citizens due to a poor diet. While some people believe governments should be responsible for improving the health of their nation, others believe it is up to the individual. This essay will examine both sides of the argument.
There is no doubt that individuals must take some responsibility for their diet and health. The argument to support this is the fact that adults have free will and make their own choices about what they eat and the exercise that they do. Children are also becoming less healthy. However, their parents are the ones who provide their evening meals, so it is their responsibility to ensure these meals are nutritious and encourage them to avoid junk food and sugary snacks during the day.
Despite these arguments, there is also a case for advocating the intervention of the state. People these days often have little choice but to depend on fast food or ready meals that are high in sugar, salt, and fat due to the pressures of work. Governments could regulate the ingredients of such food. Some governments also spend huge amounts of tax money on treating the health problems of their citizens in hospitals. It would be logical to spend this on preventative measures such as campaigns to encourage exercise and a good diet.
Having considered both sides of the issue, I would argue that although individuals must take ultimate responsibility for what they eat, governments also have a role to play as only they can regulate the food supply, which openly encourages a poor diet. It is only through this combination that we can improve people’s health.
(282 Words)
IELTS Evaluation
Band Score: 7.5
1. Task Achievement: Band 8
The essay thoroughly addresses the question, presenting a balanced discussion of both individual and governmental responsibilities for health and diet. It provides relevant examples and reasoning, such as the role of free will in individuals’ choices and the government’s ability to regulate food supply and promote preventative measures. The conclusion effectively synthesizes the arguments, offering a clear and well-supported opinion. However, the argument could be further strengthened with specific examples or data.
2. Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.5
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing each side, and a conclusion. Linking words like “there is no doubt,” “despite these arguments,” and “having considered both sides” enhance cohesion. However, the transition between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother, particularly when moving from individual responsibility to parental roles and from fast food to government regulation.
3. Lexical Resource: Band 7
The vocabulary is varied and appropriate, with phrases like “advocating the intervention,” “preventative measures,” and “ultimate responsibility.” However, some expressions could be more precise or advanced. For instance, “people these days often have little choice” might be rephrased as “modern lifestyles often constrain individuals’ dietary choices.” Additionally, there is minor repetition of words like “responsibility” and “government,” which could be replaced with synonyms to improve variety.
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.5
The essay demonstrates a wide range of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences (“Governments could regulate the ingredients of such food,” “It would be logical to spend this on preventative measures such as campaigns.”). While the grammar is generally accurate, some minor adjustments could improve fluency. For example, “so it is their responsibility to ensure these meals are nutritious and encourage them to avoid junk food” could be refined to “making it their duty to ensure these meals are nutritious and to discourage junk food.”
Suggestions for Improvement
- Add specific examples: For instance, mention a successful government initiative (e.g., sugar taxes or public awareness campaigns).
- Improve transitions: Use linking phrases like “Turning to the role of the government…” to ensure smooth flow between paragraphs and ideas.
- Refine word choice: Replace repetitive words with synonyms or more precise expressions (e.g., “responsibility” → “duty,” “government” → “state authorities”).
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