This is an IELTS family values essay, centered around the belief that families are not as close as in the past.
If you look at the question carefully, you will see that there are two tasks. Firstly, you have to explain why (give reasons) families are not so close. The second task is to state whether you think this is more of a negative or positive trend.
Take a look at the question:
| Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past, and a lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks? |
So this essay is a mix of causes, advantages, and disadvantages.
Be careful in noting that it is partly an opinion essay as you have to give your opinion as to whether the advantages outweigh (i.e. more advantages) the disadvantages.
Take a look at the question and the model answer:
Family Values Essay
| You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. |
Family Values Essay Model Answer
There has been a trend over recent decades for families to become less close than they were in the past and this situation is largely accepted in society. This essay will discuss the reasons for this and examine the benefits and drawbacks of this development.
One of the first reasons for a decline in the closeness of families is connected to the busy lifestyles that we now lead. Most people have to work longer hours and often both parents work, so they simply do not have as much time to spend with each other as they did in the past. Another factor is the materialistic and consumer-driven culture we now live in, which has led to less value being placed on family relationships. Modern technology also means that people are more interested in their online lives than interacting with their family in their free time.
It could be argued that this has benefits. If people are not so close with their family, they are free to pursue their own dreams and aspirations and to focus on improving their own lifestyle. However, I believe that there are far more negative outcomes. The most important factors leading to a fulfilled and happy life are emotional security and comfort. Without these, we are in danger of feeling lost. It is a difficult world we live in and we need the support of people close to us to cope with modern life. We are seeing a rise in mental health problems in many countries and this may well be a factor in this.
To conclude, busy modern lifestyles, changing cultural values, and modern technology are causing families to become less close. We should try to halt this trend as it has more negative than positive outcomes.
(294 Words)
Evaluation of the model answer
Task Achievement: Band 8
The essay clearly addresses the prompt, explaining the reasons for the decreased closeness in families and presenting both positive and negative outcomes. Examples are well-integrated, with clear explanations about the impact of modern lifestyles, cultural shifts, and technology on family bonds. The essay takes a clear stance in favor of family closeness, which is reiterated in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The structure is logical and flows well. Ideas are organized into clear paragraphs, and cohesive devices, such as “one of the first reasons,” “another factor,” “however,” and “to conclude,” are used effectively to guide the reader. The transition between the benefits and drawbacks is also handled smoothly, making the argument easy to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 7
The vocabulary is varied and relevant, with phrases like “materialistic and consumer-driven culture,” “pursue their own dreams,” and “emotional security and comfort.” However, some word choices, such as “a fulfilled and happy life” or “the support of people close to us,” could be refined with more sophisticated synonyms for added precision (e.g., “sense of purpose” or “close-knit support network”).
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
The grammar is mostly accurate, with a good mix of complex and simple sentences. Conditional structures, such as “If people are not so close with their family,” and passive constructions are used correctly. There are a few minor phrasing improvements that could be made, like “most important factors in leading to” rather than “leading to.”
Overall Band: 7.5
The essay provides a balanced and well-reasoned response with clear arguments, cohesive structure, and mostly accurate grammar. It could achieve a higher score with slightly more varied vocabulary and enhanced grammatical precision in a few areas.
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