Here, you will find an example of an IELTS animal testing essay.
In this essay, you are asked to discuss the arguments for and against animal testing and then give your own conclusions on the issue.
This means you must look at both sides of the issue and you must also be sure you give your opinion too.
The essay is similar to an essay that says, “Discuss both opinions and then give your opinion,” but it is worded differently.
Take a look at the question and model answer below, and think about how the essay has been organized and how it achieves coherence and cohesion.
Animal Testing Essay
| You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Examine the arguments in favor of and against animal experiments and come to a conclusion on this issue. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. |
Animals Testing Essay – Model Answer
Issues related to animal experimentation are frequently discussed these days, particularly in the media. It is often said that animals should not be used in testing because it is cruel and unnecessary. This essay will examine the arguments for and against animal testing.
On the one hand, the people who support these experiments say that we must do tests on animals. For instance, many famous lifesaving drugs were invented in this way, and animal experiments may help us to find more cures in the future. Indeed, possibly even a cure for cancer and AIDS. Furthermore, the animals that are used are not usually wild but are bred especially for experiments. Therefore, they believe it is not true that animal experiments are responsible for reducing the number of wild animals on the planet.
On the other hand, others feel that there are good arguments against this. First and foremost, animal experiments are unkind and cause animals a lot of pain. In addition, they feel that many tests are not really important, and in fact animals are not only used to test new medicines but also new cosmetics, which could be tested on humans instead. Another issue is that sometimes an experiment on animals gives us the wrong result because animals’ bodies are not exactly the same as our own. As a consequence, this testing may not be providing the safety that its proponents claim.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion, on balance, that the benefits do not outweigh the disadvantages, and testing on animals should not continue. Although it may improve the lives of humans, it is not fair that animals should suffer in order to achieve this.
(Words 278)
IELTS Evaluation
Band Score: 7.5
1. Task Achievement: Band 8
The essay addresses the task effectively by presenting arguments both in favor of and against animal experimentation. The writer provides relevant and logical reasoning, such as the role of experiments in lifesaving drugs and concerns about animal suffering and inaccuracies. The conclusion is clear, with the writer expressing a strong stance against animal testing. However, the essay could benefit from more specific examples or detailed evidence to further substantiate the points made, particularly regarding alternatives to animal testing or specific instances of its successes or failures.
2. Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.5
The structure is clear and logical, with a well-organized introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Cohesive devices such as “on the one hand,” “furthermore,” “on the other hand,” and “as a consequence” are used appropriately, but some transitions could be smoother. For example, the link between animals bred for experiments and their impact on wild populations feels abrupt and could be expanded for clarity. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened with a brief summary of the main points before stating the final opinion.
3. Lexical Resource: Band 7.5
The vocabulary is appropriate and varied, with terms like “lifesaving drugs,” “bred especially for experiments,” “unkind,” and “cosmetics.” However, there is room for more advanced or precise expressions. For instance, phrases like “cause animals a lot of pain” could be elevated to “inflict significant suffering on animals.” Similarly, “wrong result” could be improved to “inaccurate or unreliable results.”
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.5
The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex sentences (“Although it may improve the lives of humans, it is not fair that animals should suffer in order to achieve this.”) and conditional clauses (“because animals’ bodies are not exactly the same as our own.”). However, there are occasional issues with style and formality, such as “it is not true that…” and “many tests are not really important.” These could be revised to sound more academic and precise. Additionally, contractions like “it’s” should be avoided in formal writing.
Strengths:
- Clear and balanced presentation of both sides of the argument.
- Logical reasoning and a strong personal stance.
- Appropriate use of cohesive devices and varied sentence structures.
Improvements:
- Add specific examples or statistical evidence to strengthen arguments.
- Use more advanced and formal vocabulary.
- Ensure smoother transitions between points for better cohesion.
Overall Band: 7.5
This essay demonstrates solid task achievement and good use of language and structure. With more specific examples, refined transitions, and elevated vocabulary, it could achieve a higher band score.
Leave a Reply