This sample IELTS writing is on the subject of youth crime.
In this essay, you are presented with an issue and asked to discuss the ‘reasons’ why it is occurring and suggest ‘solutions’.
Crime is a topic that sometimes arises in IELTS essays and in speaking questions. But be careful to identify what kind of crime is being referred to – this is specifically youth crime.
You need to give some reasons why it is happening and then give some solutions.
IELTS Youth Crime Essay
| You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. |
Model Answer
Over the last few decades, many cities around the world have seen alarming increases in the levels of youth crime. This essay will discuss the reasons for this and provide some possible solutions.
The first reason is connected with the family. In order for a child to grow up in a balanced way, it is very important that he or she is nurtured well by his or her parents. However, these days, children are often neglected. This may be because of the fact that many parents in cities now both have to work so they are often not around to give their children support when needed. Another factor is the increasing levels of poverty around the world. We have seen with globalization the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, and this inevitably means that those who are poorer will have to resort to illegal means to get what others have. Of course, this will include the children in the poorer families.
However, there are ways to tackle such problems. Firstly, one of the ways to combat the problem is to have stricter punishments. Although, as discussed above, it can be outside factors that lead to crime, it is still important to have severe punishments to deter teenagers from crime. All too often, because they are young, the courts are too lenient. Parents also have to take more responsibility for their children’s actions. They too should be punished if their children commit crimes.
To sum up, several factors have led to increases in youth crime, but measures are available to tackle this problem.
(267 words)
Evaluation of the model answer
Task Achievement: Band 7
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both causes and solutions to the problem of rising youth crime. The main points about family neglect, economic factors, and potential solutions are clear and relevant. However, the solutions section could be expanded with more detail, particularly regarding specific programs or community initiatives that could help prevent youth crime. Additionally, a more robust conclusion that summarizes the main points in greater depth would improve completeness.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7
The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphs for causes, solutions, and a concise conclusion. Cohesive devices like “the first reason,” “however,” “another factor,” and “to sum up” help the flow. However, minor issues with linking phrases, such as the isolated “although” at the beginning of a sentence in the solutions paragraph, affect smoothness. A more varied range of connectors and smoother transitions would further enhance cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 7
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, with topic-specific language like “youth crime,” “neglect,” “stricter punishments,” and “lenient.” Word choice is generally accurate, although some phrases, like “resort to illegal means,” could be more specific, perhaps by mentioning “petty theft” or “vandalism” to better illustrate common youth crimes. Expanding the vocabulary with more precise or varied language would improve clarity and engagement.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7
The essay shows good grammatical control, with appropriate use of complex sentences and accurate tense usage. However, there are occasional issues with phrasing and minor errors, such as “because of the fact that” (which could simply be “because”) and “if their children commit crimes” (which could be more specific, like “if their children are involved in criminal activities”). While these issues don’t impact overall comprehension, slightly improved precision and variety in structure would add to grammatical complexity.
Overall Band: 7
The essay is clear, relevant, and well-organized, with a solid understanding of the topic. To achieve a higher band, the essay could benefit from more detailed solutions, smoother transitions, and slightly more precise vocabulary and grammatical variety.
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