This is an example of an essay on museums and historical places.
It is a cause (or ‘reasons’) and solutions essay as you have to explain why local people visit these places less than tourists, and then present ways to encourage more local people to visit.
| Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than local people. Why is this? What can be done to encourage local people to visit museums and historical sites? |
Answer Both Parts
It is a common mistake for IELTS candidates to only discuss one aspect, either causes or solutions, rather than both.
You should always read the question carefully to make sure that you know exactly what you are being asked to do.
This will avoid you making this mistake, which is important as partially answering the question will lead to your score being reduced.
Take a look at the question, then examine the model answer and read the comments that follow.
Museums and Historical Places Essay Model
| You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than local people. Why is this? What can be done to encourage local people to visit museums and historical sites? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. |
Essay on Museums and Historical Places – Model Answer
Although most places have sites of historical interest and a variety of museums to visit, it is predominantly tourists who come to see them, not local people. This essay will examine the reasons for this before suggesting some possible methods of attracting local people.
The main factor is the different motivations of tourists and local people. For a tourist, the aim when visiting another country, city, or region is to learn about that new place and possibly to understand its culture and history. Visiting historical sites and museums is an excellent way to do this. On the other hand, local people have often lived in the area for much of their lives, and have either learned this at school or understand it through personal experience. In addition, tourists are on holiday and have set aside time and money for these activities. However, local people may be too busy working and prefer to prioritise their spending on such things as school, shopping, and socialising.
Despite this, attendance of local people could be encouraged in a variety of ways. First and foremost, the perception of museums and historical sites could be changed by holding events at these places. For example, they could hold cultural festivals or galas for the community to celebrate a unique aspect of that particular place. Another possibility is to have special promotions, such as a reduced price or free tickets, provided in local newspapers and magazines. Related to this, concession cards could also be provided to local people so they are encouraged to come more regularly.
In conclusion, tourists have different motivating factors from local people, which accounts for the reasons that they are more likely to visit museums and historical sites. That said, it is possible to encourage attendance by local people through cultural events and promotions.
Evaluation of the Response
Task Response: Band 7
- Strengths: The essay addresses the task by clearly explaining the reasons why tourists visit museums and historical sites more than locals, providing specific examples such as tourists’ interest in culture and history, and locals’ familiarity with these sites. The solution of promoting local attendance through events, promotions, and concession cards is well thought out and relevant to the question.
- Weaknesses: While the essay provides a clear explanation, the reasons for local disinterest could be expanded with more depth. For instance, exploring more specific barriers locals face or other potential incentives for local people could strengthen the argument. The conclusion could be more detailed to wrap up the essay with a clearer summary of both views and solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7
- Strengths: The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas are generally well-organized, and there is clear progression from identifying the reasons to suggesting solutions.
- Weaknesses: While the essay is coherent, there could be smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. For example, after explaining why tourists visit, the shift to the suggestions for encouraging local attendance could be more fluid. The sentence “Despite this, attendance of local people could be encouraged in a variety of ways” could be better connected to the previous discussion with a clearer link.
Lexical Resource: Band 7
- Strengths: The vocabulary is appropriate and varied, with phrases like “motivations of tourists,” “personal experience,” “priority spending,” “cultural festivals,” and “concession cards” used accurately. The writer effectively communicates their points with a solid range of vocabulary.
- Weaknesses: There are a few instances where more precise vocabulary could be used:
- “Related to this” could be more naturally expressed as “In addition.”
- “Could be changed” could be rephrased as “Could be improved” or “Could be made more appealing.”
- “Such things as school, shopping, and socializing” could be more specific or generalized, as it doesn’t directly explain why these activities are prioritized over visiting museums.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6
- Strengths: The essay demonstrates a range of sentence structures, including both simple and complex sentences. The grammar is generally accurate, with good control of basic structures.
- Weaknesses:
- Subject-Verb Agreement: “Local people have often lived in the area for much of their lives, and have either learned this at school or understand it through personal experience” should be “understood it” to maintain consistency in verb tense.
- Awkward Phrasing: “Have set aside time and money for these activities” could be more concisely expressed as “Have allocated time and money for these activities.”
- Preposition Use: “Prioritise their spending on such things as school, shopping, and socializing” could be more clearly phrased as “Prioritize their spending on necessities like school, shopping, and socializing.”
- Clarity: The sentence “That said, it is possible to encourage attendance by local people through cultural events and” ends abruptly. This sentence should be completed, or the idea should be reworded to ensure clarity.
Overall Band Score: 6.5
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting clear reasons for why tourists visit museums more than locals and offering valid suggestions to encourage local attendance. The response is mostly coherent, with a solid use of vocabulary and grammar. However, some areas of improvement in clarity, transitions, and grammar could elevate the score to a 7 or higher.
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